Can I Get Back To You?

August 8th, 1975: Liza Minnelli began as a surprise replacement for Roxie Hart!
One thing I know
And I've always known
I am my own best friend
Baby's alive
But baby's alone
And baby's her own best friend
-Fred Ebb and John Kander, Chicago

Happy August 17th, 2016!
August 17 is the 230th day of the year . There are 136 days remaining until the end of the year. 82 Days till election day
Friends or acquaintances?  What makes a good friend

As I began my blog today, I was listening to a "friend" play the violin on my Ipod. I put the word friend in quotation marks because I am on a quest to determine who my friends are...and are not.

I've been thinking a lot lately about "friends" and what makes a good friend. 
I have a dear friend and we speak almost daily. 
We have yelled at each other and we have shared our ups and downs. Most of our conversations over the past few months have been mostly about politics. Luckily, we are both on the same side in terms of our thoughts on what is happening to our country. 

The GOP nominee is all about building walls and his divisive rhetoric has really divided this country.
You're The best friends anybody ever had!

It is even pitting friends against each other. I have seen many posts on Facebook saying essentially, "If you feel differently, "un-friend" me now." Now, I ask you...Does that sound like the behavior of true friends? 
Surfing around, I recently found this post: This is MY page and I will support who I choose to support. I also do my homework and I'm for Hillary Clinton...if you support Donald Trump then you go against everything I have fought for all my life, including my right to marry who I choose. Go ahead and have your opinions but
Bette Midler's rendition of Wind Beneath My Wings epitomizes friendship
NOT on my page...I'm not here to debate anyone. My views are my views and I ask you to respect my choices as I will respect yours. If you can't, then UNFRIEND me immediately because you are no friend of mine. 

I also have a friend who recently got very upset because of an infraction against him that is all within his mind. As an adult in my mid fifties, I am still learning on a daily basis on how to navigate the waters of friendship, both real and imagined.
Friend Anita Gillette

The older I get, the more baffled I am by human behavior. On a daily basis, I am let down by those that I love the most. Guess what? I'm not alone! I hear the same disappointments from others about the people they hold dear and near. Some people are so focused on themselves in this narcissistic age that they are oblivious as to what is going on around them. Facebook and Twitter have given many a distorted version of who their friends are...and are not. I wrote in a previous blog as to how excited I was when I reached the 5,000 mark (the limit!) of friends on Facebook.   

“Spending today complaining about yesterday won’t make tomorrow any better.” ~Unknown

Me and my sister friends forever

I learned very quickly that sometimes it is a burden. It is a huge load to try and manage and keep those friends. Many are people who desire to be in my circle because of my belief system. Some because of my work. Some because of my connections. It is amazing how connected we all are and can be through social media.
It is even more amazing how it is distancing us. In my social circles and through networking, I also meet people face to face. It happened last night. I came home with five business cards in my wallet. How do I "friend"

them on Facebook when I already have 5,000 friends. That should be my biggest worry of the day!
But I start thinking about who communicates with me? There are some people that I don't know outside of Facebook. There are even some who I don't think would cross the street for me.
That's fine. I get it. Everybody is caught up in their own worlds. There have been some that have been "unfriended" who realize it five or six months or even longer later and reach out to find out why they were unfriended. It doesn't mean I like them any less. It simply means there has been no activity between us in some time.
By the way, I'm VERY accessible AND I respond to everyone!
What Facebook has done either directly or indirectly have created little kingdoms.
Each person is the star in their own kingdom. They can choose what content is allowed in their kingdom and who are the other players in that show?
It depends on the likes and dislikes of the "star". If they disagree with YOUR point of view you get unfriend or worse BLOCKED. I, too, have a list of blocked people who, at one time or another, were
Anita Gillette, Penny Fuller, KT Sullivan
Facebook "friends". What does it take to get blocked from my page?
Crossing the line, offending another person, offensive or abusive language. I use my social media for supporting others and, this season, for posting articles relating to the political climate. You are welcome to weigh in either pro or con as it is done civily. When you begin to attack the messenger whether it be or not that is a big no no. Let's ALL get along. Let's all celebrate each other. I'm truly here for you. I hope you are for me as well.
Now, I'd like to share the following from my friend, Ellen Eason.
 When a Friendship Disappoints by ©Ellen Easton
I do believe in Karma and what goes around comes around

"Friendships begin and friendships end for many reasons. No one goes through life without experiencing the end of one or more friendships. 

The demise of a friendship is not unlike the demise of a romance.  The disappointment one feels when a friendship ends can be profound. Why? Because the foundation of a friendship is bound by a mutual respect, trust and support between two people.  When those basic principles are shattered, as with Humpty Dumpy the pieces cannot be put back together again.  Sometimes, one must take a stand to choose between keeping a friend or knowing when it is time to let go.

One of my first such loses came when I was in my early twenties.  I had a school friend who was a part of my core group of very best friends.  We spent countless hours, days, weeks, months and years together sharing the intimate details and secrets of our lives. From time to time, I had witnessed her being disrespectful, including
with Ilene Graff and Barbara van Orden
to the parents of other friends, but not to me or my family. We never once had a disagreement, let alone a fight.  I thought we were great pals.

Then one day, while visiting my home, this friend took it upon herself to insult my mother. For those who did not know my mother, she was a sweet, kind and generous woman. My friend's outburst was unprovoked, unwarranted and most certainly unacceptable.  My mother was stunned, as was I.  We both asked her to apologize.  When she refused, she was asked to leave.  I was crushed to lose what I thought was one of my best friends.

Over a year passed with no contact when the telephone rang.  It was my friend calling to tell me she
with the late great Dana Lorge. We were like a married couple
was engaged to be married and wanted me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding.  I replied that I would be happy to accept provided she first apologize to my mother. One week later, I received a letter stating her refusal to apologize to my mother and closing with me being uninvited me to her wedding.  At that point I no longer cared.  In fact, I was grateful to learn early that she lacked character and spared myself from wasting any more time in the relationship.

We all make mistakes.  No one is perfect.  A real friendship can survive disagreements. However, a real friendship cannot survive jealously, disrespect or betrayal.
It is up to each individual to set the bounds of what is and what is not acceptable conduct within the confines of a mutual relationship."

Again, I urge you to READ, RE-READ, and TAKE NOTES! Some history should not be repeated.

As you can see, we have a LOT to be proud of. We also have a lot to be concerned about. Let's all agree to celebrate that pride in each other! 

Please send your suggestions for future blogs to

Thank you, to all mentioned in this blog for the gifts you have given to the world and continue to give!

With grateful XOXOXs from YOUR pro-active friend,

Check out my site celebrating the legacy of Dolly Gallagher Levi!


Please do what YOU can to be more aware that words and actions DO HURT...but they can also heal and help!   

Here's to an INCREDIBLE tomorrow for ALL...with NO challenges!
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Julie Budd Celebrates Her 50 year career with Herb Bernstein on September 21st at NYC's Metropolitan Room. Click HERE for Tix
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